It’s important to understand what you are trying to teach. Psychology tries to analyse, understand the roots & help those suffering from various mental health disorders. Many sufferers from such disorders engage in self harming behavior. Self Harm can take many different forms. The most commonly reported methods include:
- Cutting of arms or other parts of the body
- Scratching, picking or scraping at the skin on any part of the body
- Burning or scalding parts of the body
- Pulling out your own hair
- Scouring, scrubbing or bleaching parts of the body
- Banging or hitting (sometimes with an object eg hammer) parts of the body
- Inserting things into the body
- Taking overdoses or swallowing harmful substances
- Tying something tightly around part of the body to cut off the blood supply
Other things which can be considered as self harm include driving too fast, over- or under-eating and eating disorders, involving yourself in taking illegal drugs, alcohol abuse, risk-taking (including sexual risk-taking) smoking to excess and over working or committing yourself to doing too much for other people.
But Why Do People Self Harm?
Self harm is first and foremost a coping strategy. It helps people cope with overwhelming feelings of pain and anguish which if they did not have their coping mechanism of self harm might force them into even more life threatening activities.
People self harm for all sorts of different reasons and may or may not be fully aware of what they are trying to achieve by doing it. They do however know that at least for awhile it makes them feel better and more able to cope.
How Common is Self Harm?
Self harm is more common in women, although in prisons the number of men self harming is above the general level seen for men. Self harm in all its many forms is probably far more common than most people would estimate. It is a coping strategy used by people at times in their lives when nothing else seems to work. It is impossible to know just how many people are self harmers as many will never require and/or seek help or medical attention for their self harm. It is known that self harm is reported in all age groups and all walks of life. Many self harmers have been dealing with their distress in this way for many years before anyone else finds out about it. It does however appear that self harm is becoming less of a taboo subject – which is a positive move as people have nothing to be ashamed or feel guilty for – it is merely their coping mechanism. Many people will also find that they are able to stop self harming and learn alternative methods for coping with their emotions and problems.
Is Self Harm a Suicide Attempt?
NO – many people who self harm do so in ways that are not severe and do not require medical attention and do not leave permanent scarring.
However sometimes people do hurt themselves quite seriously such as cutting themselves to the extent that stitches are required and the wound will scar. Although there is a desperate need to inflict serious injury the person is not trying to take their own life.
Some people who self harm will at times do things that put their lives seriously at risk such as taking massive overdoses or trying to strangle themselves or cut an artery. Again this does not usually mean that the person wants to kill themselves it may be that their feelings are so out of control that they do not notice how severe their actions are – or indeed they might not care at that moment in time whether they kill themselves or not.
At the heart of self harm is one fact – the person is trying to cope in whatever way they can – not kill themselves.
What Feelings Make Someone Need To Self Harm?
The feelings behind a persons self harm can be as varied as the methods people use to self harm. As stated earlier, the person may not actually be aware of why exactly they are doing this – it can be a collection of feelings together which just overwhelm the person completely and leave them feeling as if they have no other means of coping – they just need to hurt themselves to survive the feelings.
Commonly reported feelings that can make a person self harm are:
- emotional pain and anguish
- unresolved anger
- self-hatred
- low self-esteem
- guilt
- shame
- fear
- anxiety
- chronic emptiness
- desperation
- powerlessness
- depersonalisation and dissociation (feeling that you are disconnected from the world around you)
- depression
- stress
- neglect
- loss
Such behavior is common for those suffering from various psychological & personality disorders, like narcissistic, borderline, bipolar, depression etc. Such people generally are being diagnosed through narcissistic personality disorder, borderline, depression or bipolar test OR whatever the mental health professional deems appropriate for the specific case.
So How Does Self Harm Help?
Self harm is most often a way of releasing built up emotions that are in some way felt by the person to be bad or wrong. It is a way of letting all the mental pain from inside become a ‘more real’ physical pain on the outside. It’s like ”well now you (and I) can see my pain so it is more real and bearable”.
It can also be a means of punishing yourself for having the feelings (usually seen with feelings of guilt and/or shame). This is common amongst victims of abuse and even though they are in no way responsible for anything they still feel like they need to be punished and the self harm brings them relief because they have gotten what they feel they deserve.
Self harm can act as a distraction from the feelings. By inflicting pain on a site that can be seen the person can refocus all of their attention onto looking after the injury instead of stewing over the feelings.
Self harm can communicate the need for comfort from other people or the desire for someone to take the pain away. Many self harmers feel that they do not deserve caring for their emotional pain, but it is ok to be cared for if it is a physical problem. The act of self harming is therefore a way of displacing the pain from inner emotions to outer physical pain that can receive care without the guilt.
If someone is suffering from depersonalisation – or feelings of being disconnected from oneself then Self harm can literally reground them back into themselves. It’s as if by feeling the blood flow from a cut and watching it at the same time you can start to feel a part of yourself again and pull you back to reality. – In this instance it is not uncommon for the person to report that they felt nothing during the cutting at all.
What Can Help Someone Who Self Harms?
There are a number of key issues that have been proven to help a self harmer recover:
Learning to understand themselves and their reasons for self harming. To do this they must become more aware of their own feelings and thoughts.
Looking at issues from the past which lie behind the self harm. If there are things from the past then appropriate counselling will help lay the ghosts and also help the person understand how these events are related to their self harm now.
Finding new ways to deal with and communicate their feelings. A self harmer needs to develop another set of coping strategies to replace the need for self harm. Some of the time the self harmer already achieves this, but at times of real stress these coping mechanisms breakdown resulting in the person reverting to self harm. What is needed is a new toolbox of coping strategies that can cope with all levels of emotional pain. When it comes to dealing with emotions – this does not always mean exploring and expressing them – in fact for many it means acknowledging that they are there but then containing them and moving on from them.
Increase self esteem – people need to look for and appreciate the good and the strength within themselves. They need to take a look at their potential and realise that their is a lot more to them than they give themselves credit for. It may also be necessary to seek support from outside of themselves to look at the bad things they believe about themselves. Building self confidence and assertiveness help alot with self esteem.
Learn how to communicate with other people more effectively – especially about distressing feelings and events. If the self harmer can learn to talk directly about how s/he is feeling then so long as they are taken seriously by other people this will also increase self esteem and stop the build up of feelings inside.
Where Can A Self Harmer Get Help?
People who feel the desperate need to self harm must also remember that they deserve support from other people. Help and support is available from many different sources:
- Partners, Family and Friends
- Counselling Services
- GP’s
- Psychiatric Services
- Help-Lines
- Support Organisations